First thing is to define what type of wedding the two of you would like. Wether it be a cozy intimate celebration for two or the event of the century. Most of us fall somewhere in between. Next is to decide budget and guest list. These two go hand in hand as they directly effect each other.
Budget: if someone els is fronting the cash for the big day then sit down with (Daddy or) whomever it is and have a very candid and specific discussion as to what they feel is realistic. Money is the number one cause of disagreements in most relationships. And no one wants to hear a grown woman say “but Daddy, I really want it”.
Let’s have some perspectives – a second mortgage should not be taken out or the Amex should not be maxed.
If you are paying for the big day yourself it might be time to sit down and have a true heart to heart as to where a comfortable budget falls.
Guest list: everyone makes a list then sit down and discuss if each person should be invited. Expectations need to be set: If your future mother-in-law to has 15 people on the list that she works with and neither you nor your groom to be have meet these people then maybe there is an area to reduce.
A good rule of thumb is: if you would not invite the person to your house for dinner then why would you invite them to dinner, got it?